"Spare the rod and spoil the child."

What did I do so wrong?"

"I tried to do what she asked, what they asked, why can't I do what they told me to do." 

"I am Bad, I guess I am Just Bad."

The look of anguish was spray painted across my face as I stood in line.  Feelings of confusion accompanied the anguish as I surveyed the others in line.  Their stares were masked with a paralyzed confusion. We did not know what to do. Our gazes were frozen like a herd of deer caught in the headlights of semi-trucks plowing down on them from all directions.   So we stood still. 

"Oh I can run to my mom," I thought as I slowly and nervously look around to find her in what seemed like a sea of adults watching the show.  "Aw there she is," I signed to myself.  In my mother's arm, I felt the hope.  It begins to rise in my belly, and as it rose hope stopped and it died.  I think it lost its footing. My hope was washed away by the whistle and her blank look.  The deer was in her eyes.  The Son of Fire destroyed the maternal instincts and white washed and suppressed her with a hypnotic notion.  She could not sense my fear, confusion, and need for protection. She had been covered with detachment and void of instinct. 

"Maybe I can walk over to...” my thoughts were disrupted by the whistling sound.  The sound was followed by an eerie squeal of pain.  The pain tapped my attention on the back and diverted thoughts of salvation.  The thought of pain caressed me and leaned on my shoulder.  I swallowed hard to digest the feelings that were just feed to me.  As I closed my eyes, I heard the whistle again and this time my body danced to the beat of the whistle.    We shared in this torment.  Then I heard the transition. It went from a cry to a whimper and from scream to whines.  From good to bad.  From brat to child.  "Now he is a better child," I thought "I guess soon I will be."  The line moved forward. The whistles sound again.

The Choir rose and sang praises. I heard them say.  I heard someone say, "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

Technorati Tags: Child,abuse,family,love,happy,environment

My Observation

I often wonder what the world would be like if I lost the use of one or more of my senses or major limbs. Does the body truly compensate for the changes? Does it really strengthen the other senses to make up for the lost or missing sense?

On my ride home the other night, I had the opportunity to observe a blind woman.

  The young lady was about 5’1,” average weight and a cute disposition. Her hair was neatly braided and pulled to the back by a rubber band. Her most disguising physical attribute was he eyes and lips. Her eyes had a strong almond shape and her lips were full and complimented her face very well. At first glance, I had no idea she was blind. Her walking stick was the first indication for me. She stood there with confidence and by her self-assured pose, I could only assume that she was either born blind or she has been blind for some time. I observed her actions and I could only wonder about her coping skills with life. Is she angry? Does she blame God? Is she in constant fear of others (predators)? I did not have an opportunity to speak with her. Maybe if I see her again I will.

In her Shoes-

If I was in her situation, I could only feel or imagine fear at this point. I know that I would soon adjust. We all live in fear in one form or another; we spend most of our lives working around the fear. We mask the fear with denial and avoid it until it traps us.

Technorati Tags: Blind,woman,observation,bus,diary

Contemplation

 

As I sit here again on the bus contemplating life and I realize that life is merely an interpretation of events, interactions and our surroundings. We look through the eyes of our mind and through that interpretation we determine what the true meaning or message being conveyed. For example, a bus filled with passengers witness the same accident. Each person will provide a common recount of the event, but there will be differences in the stories. Why? Because the experience was lived differently by everyone, the experience was not viewed through the same eyes of the mind. I believe that this applies in many aspects of our life experiences.

As I read more of the Yoga sutras, I am more inclined to believe that the understanding, education and the nourishment necessary to maintain the strength of a man’s spiritual being is found in all aspects of Yoga, Buddhism and Christianity. I suppose the other religions provide additional components of consideration. I will continue my reading and I report my findings.

My Mother

She must go deep in her well and pull out strength

 

Today I am writing concerning my mother.  Anyone that reads this blog, do yourself a favor, take the time to self-reflection. 

Tuesday I received a voicemail from my sister.  She sounded somewhat disturbed and stressed.   I instantly felt her vibe and knew something was wrong with my family .  She explained that she went to see if my mother was ready for her Doctor's Appointment and when she walked into the room, my mother laid on the bed with her eyes open, muttering  softly of nothing.  My sister called several times to my mother she did not respond.  According to my sister, mom's eyes do not blink nor did she move.  My sister called the ambulance and  my mother was taken to the hospital.

As my sister explained this to me I felt stress, concern, and helplessness  rise from the pit of my stomach.  I began to think in panic mode.  I thought, What am I going to do?  I need to go to Georgia, and see about her.  What is she is about to die? Several crazy thoughts came to mind.  So I decided to meditate. After I meditated,  I mustered up all my strength and walked out of my office on a mission to save my mother.

As I began to plan the rescue of my mother, I had a revelation of sorts.  We are all responsible for our actions or decisions.   The hero that my mother needs is within her.  She will not change and lead a healthier lifestyle until she decides that it is truly time.  She must go deep in her well and pull out strength. Once she says that it is time,  I can help by lending support, suggestions and encouragement.  I can not do anything until she determines it is time. Love is sometime letting go and providing support from afar.

 

The Lady on the Bus

As I sit here today and contemplating what to write about, I began to look around (I am on the Metro Bus)...  Each person seems to have a vision of the world around them and that world affects them differently. 

I love watching people and analyzing their outward appearance and mannerism to theorize about their personality and life.  There is a perfect subject on the bus today. 

Description:   A very attractive 35-40 year old lady is sitting not too far from me.  She is sensuous and classy and sexy mannerism about her.  Her outfit is coordinated from head to toe.  She is wearing simple thin strapped sandals with black pants and a gold blouse.  The blouse is opened enough to show slight cleavage.  Her toes and nails are carefully manicure and pedicure.  She accessorized her outfit with medium hoop ear rings and bracelets.  Her hair is in a ponytail with a pair of designer glasses perched at the crown of her head. 

My Perception:  She has the face of kindness and strength.  I would assume that she is a mother of young adults. Her demeanor seems to be that of a confident woman with a warm personality. She also looks like she is means what she says and she does not play! There was no wedding ring I guess that she is single because of divorce or widowed.  She has that appeal that men are drawn to, so if she is single it is by choice. 

I would have loved to converse with her to determine how much of my observations were correct.

I think that my favorite past time is definitely people watching.  I love watching people interact, and communicate aloud or in the silence of their body language.  The next time you are hanging out in a public place, take a look at a person sitting nearby began to break them down corroding to their dress, mannerism and interaction.  If you have time walk over to the person and start a casual conversation. Compare your presumptive vibe that you felt with the person and the actual vibe.  You will realize that it is a rare situation when you are 100% right about someone.  Personal Perception is defined by the experienced and education.