The Girl in the Bathroom

At a glance it looked like an electric night. At a glance, it seemed to be the remains of a night of fantasy and sexual expression, but vision can often be misconstrued by expectation or prejudice.

She stirred slowly on the bed. Her movements could be described as if she was a person returning to normal after a night of howling at the moon. Her neck even contained a dull ache as if she was attacked, bitten, and transformed into a foreign beast or monster. She surely did not feel like herself. She moved forward and propped herself up with her arm. She surveyed the studio apartment and began to recollect the prior evening.

Various exhausted beer, wine, liquor bottles and various shades of lipstick covered glasses rest on the floor in various positions. As she sat up completely and place her feet on the floor. Her toes touched several wrappers. She looked down in question, inspected and raised her head in disguise. On the nightstand she noticed her pack of Newport, reached for them, shook the box and discovered that the box only contained a half smoked cigarette. She frowned at the “short” and searched for a light. As she began pushed party favors off of the table hoping to discover a light, instead she found more wrappers. It was as if it was Christmas morning and kids went crazy opening gifts and discarding all but the treasures inside.

Shelia stared at the wrappers and proceeded to the stove to light her used cigarette. After it was burning and she puffed away the stall taste of the used cigarette, she walked to her bathroom and started the tub.

As she walked into the bathroom, that’s when she first noticed her. There was a coco brown sister as naked as Eve. And speaking of Eve, this coco beauty was the perfection of Eve. Her face was the vision of an angel. Her mouth was curved with a slight frown, but it was obvious that under the right circumstances it would be a devilish grin. Her nose was a button with the roundness and flare of her ancestors. Her long neck connected to soft shoulders, full breast, small waist, rounded hips and muscle flexing thighs. She was glamorous from head o toe. Shelia stared at the sexy bitch and turned her head in disgust. “That hoe always parties and show out,” she thought as she took a long drag of the Newport and frowned at the continued bad taste. Shelia disappointment was redirected at the young lady.

Shelia thought, “What did she do last night? I bet she was talking trash like she always does. How good she is. How no one has her skills. I bet any kind of money she went overboard again.” Shelia remembered there was several times she seen this girl in action at the parties in the past. Shelia also remembers that this girl drank too much. She always did. She needs, wants and commands attention. She would drink and talk shit to get attention. “Oh damn, all those wrappers on the floor! Not again!” She looks at her and the anger and resentment tinkle in her toes. As if she had stepped into the tub of running water and it was slowly rising. Her anger began to warm her body.

“That damn girl,” Shelia thought as her surveyed the room again and moved back to the naked beauty. She always feels empowered by the attention. Like Cleopatra who toyed with the affections of men only to die due to the poison (snake bite) of her actions. “Those guys last night did not love her the way she wanted nor did she deserve Love,” thought Shelia. “How am I going to find man to love me, when my roommate keeps screwing everyone? “

Shelia said to herself, “Going from man to man does nothing but leave you on the floor. I want kids and a husband. I have the capacity to love, but she messed it up with all this need for attention. I love me too. But I only need one. She keeps screwing everyman that comes around here. I am going to have to do something about that! “Just then her angry turn to grief, then pity. “She is so beautiful, look at her,” she thought, “if she could only stop giving it away.”

The combination of the running water and the burnt down cigarette caught her attention. She looked away from the mirror, flipped the cigarette into the toilet, and wiped the tears from her eyes. As she prepared to clean herself, she whispered in a breath, “I am worth more.”

What Happens to Love?

When it does not work, what happens to Love?

First, I want to commend all of my new friends for the love you are showing me with my short stories and commentary on Love. I believe that God has provided me with a gift of insight and I want to serve all my readers, by providing information from my heart and soul. So as you read my commentary, bring your “rake”and “pitchfork.”If there is any information that you can use, rake it in for usage, and if you disagree or there is not needed, pitch it away. Now on to the series…….

In Part 1 of this series, I stated that the only way to maintain a healthy relationship is to remove anything that does not foster positive growth or strengthen the relationship. I use a garden as the basis of my analogy. Soil and Field rep resents your spiritual body. The Spiritual body projects who you are to the world. The Physical body acts for the spiritual body. The Soul is the actual you. When your garden is clear of negative substance, whatever is planted will flourish.

As you read this series, you will notice that the majority of information I will provide will be for you and not your mate. The reason for that is simple: No one can make you happy! No one can give you love, integrity, honest, and selflessness. All of these things are in you! All of these things project from you to the world. W e project who we are to the world. God has provided all the ingredients to happiness and joy. We share ourselves with the world. Would you ever try to board a plane on a trip without your plane ticket? When the attendant asks for your ticket would you say that you expect the guy ahead of you to give his ticket? We are all on the same journey. We all must have our own tickets.

If you are looking for someone to make you happy, you will have a minimum amount of happiness in your life. The reason is simple: Your focus is in the wrong place. As you are looking outside your garden, your plot is unattended and overrun with such poisons as insecurity, jealousy, or low self esteem. Those negative substances distract you; poison your garden and choke the seeds of your relationships. Because your search is in vain, you miss out on quite a bit of your happiness. You are searching outwardly for something that is inside of you. Imagine that you misplace d your keys in the house. Where will you look? You will look inside your house. You will not go down the street to your neighbor’s house looking for something that is inside your home!

I wanted to make that point before I move forward. This makes the answer quite obvious to my readers. So let’s state the question again: When it does not work, what happens to the love? Nothing. The love remains constant even after the relationship is over. Remember, the love is a part of you (your soil) and the relationship (seed) is planted. The seed is not the soil and the soil is not the seed. They are both important to one another, but their make-up and roles are quite different.

Once a relationship (plant or seed) is up- rooted, weakened, or cut, and the relationship is gone, t here will be a time needed for healing, because something in your garden with a specific place and role is weak or gone. Now here is when many disagree with me. The average person is hurt or devastated and begins to build protective measures to safe guard themselves from being hurt again and again.

Many people begin to use those negative substances to build the so call wall of protection. The wall does not protect them; instead it creates barriers inside the garden that imprisons you and inhibits the growth of love in your soil. So the next relationship is plagued with the same issues and ends in the same manner or worst: we stay in an unhealthy relationship. If your garden is not address, life will be filled with more pain than necessary.

Here is a fact that I will place everything on: If you have cleaned your garden and you are doing your job in the relationship one or two things will occur. Your partner will begin to clean his/her garden, or circumstances will begin to separate you. Because there will be not be enough common ground to sustain the relationship. For example two Crack heads with co dependency issues are together, and one sobers up. Can the newly reformed addict stay with the current addict? No. If the recovering addict remains, he/she will probably slide back in to that life style. When we clean up our gardens, it is like sobering up. We are new, because we are experiencing intensity of feelings and emotions that we have not felt for a very long time. Our needs, outlook, and desires will change.

Quick Recap: Nothing happens to love when a relationship ends. The love remains constant. Why, because the Love is a part of you. It provides substance (food) for relationships it is not the fruit of the relationship. When changes occur in the relationship, it is important to allow healing after a relationship ends without allowing negative substances to gather and create emotional prisons and barriers.

Next question: Now that it is over, how do I prepare for a new healthy relationship?

What's in your Garden

 

by Hakeem Jamal

After talking with quite a few friends and examining my own relationships, I observed a pattern to my ill attempts at Love. Relationships were not working out for me or any of the individuals I know. I am not referring to callous people, but the average person in our society that should find healthy relationships and real love accessible. Love should be manifested in all aspects of their life.

Love seems so elusive, and somewhat ambiguous, and continued failure means that we are not defining Love properly because we do not know what it is or its purpose.  Because of this ignorance we categorize Love's placement wrong, thus its place and purpose is lost in our lives.

My theory of Love (and positive attributes) is this: Love is a constant in our spiritual bodies it is a necessity for a healthy existence. It exists in great numbers as long as we have the capacity for growth.

Your Garden

Many of us are not ready for relationships. We are not familiar with a healthy relationship. Our spiritual lives or gardens are ill managed. Poorly managed spiritual gardens are cluttered with negative substances and when Life (God's will) sows seeds in our rocky fields and hard soil we cannot maintain a healthy connection to the results of the seeds sown. The interesting thing is that we define the love as the seed, but Love is actually a part of the soil. Love is one of the many minerals in the soil that allows seeds to grow strong and provide fruit. Relationships, emotions, or daily occurrences are the seed sown in our garden. These seeds remain healthy due to the condition of our soil before and during growth. Adversity, Selfish Motives, ill will, negative emotional barriers or detach disposition are the stones and other foreign substances that pollute, obstruct, impede, and/or counteract the growth of relationships.

Our Spiritual bodies are the soil and our soil's richness is determine by levels of our positive (divine) attributes such as compassion, love, kindness, giving, etc.. The ills in our garden are fear, low self esteem, mistrust and jealousy. These traits can only harden you (soil). Spiritual bodies plagued with negativity do not allow the soil to become rich with love. So when seeds of infatuation are sown, they will not grow into a the healthest relationship. The ills in the ground are plague with fear, low self esteem, mistrust and jealousy and those trait can only hardens your (soil).

As I study the sutras of yoga and reflect on my knowledge of Christ. I realized that to discover what fosters love's growth is somewhat obvious, but preparing and maintaining yourself as a vessel for love takes work and dedication. Don't worry because it does get easier.

Love will flourish and enrich your life automatically when you are prepared. When the seeds are sown in an love enriched soil they will grow stronger than you can imagine. For example, God is not plagued with negative traits, so his love is dense and well concentrated.  It is all powerful.  This intensity and richness is exemplified in God's relationship to us.  How else can you give your son?Love will nurture the seeds that are being planted in your spiritual body.

Soil and Field represents your spiritual body. The Spiritual body projects who you are to the world. The Physical body displays or provides action for the spiritual body. The Soul is you

1. Positive Substances- Traits in your spiritual body that promotes emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental growth and positive relationships. I.e. Love, peace, compassion, etc....

2. Negative Substances- ills and foreign substances in your spiritual body that inhibit the positive substances from flourishing. Anger, hate, weakness, and low self esteem are examples of these substances

Examples of seeds sown into your garden are relationships, infatuation, task, ethics, and morals.

NEXT TOPIC: When it does not work, what happens to the love?

To be continued .